Not too long ago I have had bouts of depression (not the clinical kind, thankfully). Maybe I should stop calling it depression to be more polite. Just sadness. An overwhelming kind of sadness.
Although I did have a job that was very enjoyable (hey, who wouldn't like great sushi discounts?!) and I did get along well with my colleagues who I definitely consider my friends, there was just a slight feeling of dissatisfaction in myself. I am content with what I have and I always pray that I will not long for more than what I need, however, when one has been in education longer than one should have, there is always this pressing need to search for greener pastures.
Not to mention having friends who have moved on to more successful roles (I am genuinely happy for them - don't get me wrong!) and family members who pretty much just expect a lot more from you (I know they mean well).
I would just like to acknowledge the power of prayer in this one tearful night when I felt lost in a sea of longing, expectations and low self-esteem. Literally a few minutes after asking from God for the patience and guidance to go on, I received a job offer which I didn't even apply for. The past few days have been surreal and it's just wonderful to know that we have a mighty God who is just bigger and much more significant than all our doubts and worries combined.
Although I am quite scared of all the moving out and starting a challenging role in clinical trials, I am really looking forward to the next day.
I wish all of us the best and may God be with you.
-R
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