Sunday 13 March 2016

Where We're At

It has been a while since I've written anything down.

As I lay awake in my (new) humble home in Birmingham, I feel the want to write about the past few months.

It's been great - it really has. Maturity, independence - I feel l that I've touched on those again. Even more so now than when I used to live on my own in Edinburgh. I like being in Birmingham. It feels like my second home. Although to be honest, I'm not sure where my first home is. Not that I don't consider anywhere my home. Quite the opposite actually. I consider everywhere my home. Which is nice. I always make it a point to thank God for providing a home for me wherever I go. And I really do mean that.

Years ago I never would have thought I could do it on my own. To leave our family home was mightily scary yet also a little bit exciting. Being a mommy and daddy's girl made me a little apprehensive to set my foot out into the world unknown. But through God's grace, I'm surviving. Bit by bit. And on most days I feel especially blessed for having the opportunity to do the work that I do and to be surrounded with the nicest people I could ever ask for.

Go, team Microbiology :)

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for providing me with much more than I deserve. For being my light and my guide. For protecting me night and day. And for inspiring me to love this crazy big city You've chosen for me.

It hasn't been a smooth sail, if I'm being totally honest. I've been through a bad breakup just before getting this new job. In a way, I'm grateful for having a new start. I'm thankful for a new slate. There's this peace that comes with knowing you have ended a significant yet no longer encouraging chapter in your life. Of course, I miss my first love. There will always be that part of me that will want to block all the hurt and anger and only look back at the beautiful moments in our relationship where there was kindness and respect. May I never forget to pray for him and his family the way he has done for mine.

Thank You, Lord, for giving me the wisdom to take my time to heal, to not rush into freedom, to love myself again. I feel that the tears I've cried every now and then have helped me to see the breakup in a positive light and to see my past love as a beautiful lesson. I don't want to forget. I never would want to forget. But I want to forgive and to eventually walk away with only peace and love in my heart.